brownglucose said: Coca Cola being weak as hell for not having my name on these bottles. Go.
It’d been an excruciatingly long day of meetings at Coca-Cola headquarters in Atlanta, Georgia. CEO Muhtar Kent was exhausted and began to shove assorted documents and notes into his briefcase as he planned to make a hasty retreat to the elevators to rest at home. He was lusting after the moment where he got to slip into his jacuzzi and watch SportsCenter while the waterjets massaged his balls.
Just as Mr. Kent grabbed the doorknob to leave he heard a voice.
“Wait, we have one more thing scheduled”, a public relations employee said.
“Apparently Tumblr user Brown Glucose is upset that we don’t have her name listed on our new Coke bottles. She said, quote, Coca Cola weak as hell for not having my name on these bottles, unquote”.
Mr. Kent didn’t react at first. He just stood there letting the employees words hang in the air and get stale. Suddenly Mr. Kent went over to the oversized windows and opened one to its full capacity. You could feel the cold air rush into the room.
Mr. Kent then pushed tables and chairs out of the way and cleared a path from where he was standing all the way to the open window. He then began to sprint toward the open window while shouting
“TELL THAT BITCH I DON’T CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE” as he jumped out of the window.
The “AAAAAAAARE” trailed off until Mr. Kent splattered all over the sidewalk and met his death.
Just when I thought I was done, you write something to pull me back in.